This week was not a lucky one for the movies. We can see the quantity over quality thing happening. Unlikely with a robotic police officer, there are plenty other romantic stud for the Valentine Day crown with tales of winter, endless endless love and stories about last night.
Just remember, I’m not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they’ll end up on the Tomatometer. Let’s take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
For some reason, a scene from the original RoboCop that has always stuck with me is the moment in the board room when they are testing the original machine and it malfunctions, killing the junior partner in the demonstration. I always felt so bad for that guy. It probably explains why I never sought employment in a Fortune 500 company. When you’re climbing that corporate ladder in these huge companies, there stands a good chance you’ll at some point get lit up with a thousand bullets by the latest in crime-fighting technology. So, lesson learned. Don’t suck off the corporate tit. You’ll end up as bullet-riddled Swiss cheese in in the crossfire … all in the name of profit-seeking. See what RoboCop was doing? Teaching us life lessons.
Usually I’m completely against remakes, thinking they offer nearly nothing in the way of entertainment value, wishing a malfunctioning RoboCop would have lit up the movie studio exec meeting as they talked each other into greenlighting another cash grab. It’s no different here. Why do this? I mean, I know why on a surface level: money. But the real reason revolves around ideas. In that, Hollywood is running out of ‘em. And damn quick.
The new RoboCop seems a lot like the old one, with a few modern day updates, a suit with a few more curves, the color black and the same is-he-human?/is-he-machine? question nobody really cares about. The original was a critical darling (89%) full of commentary on the state of government control and freewill. This one is trending down the middle with critics split. In some ways, this is better than I expected. I guess that’s encouraging, but doesn’t solve the initial issue. Come up with new ideas! Stop producing mediocre remakes of decent originals. Where’s that malfunctioning killing machine when you need one? The Rotten Watch for RoboCop is 42%